"Poems From a Gypsy Soul"; Manuscript Sample

Poems From
A Gypsy Soul
By Evelyn Rodriguez




Copyright © 2009 Evelyn Rodriguez
All Rights Reserved


Acknowledgement

To my loving children, and to my husband
who was patience enough
to let me write for endless days
and nights.
Without your love and support
this book would have never been completed.

THANK YOU ALL!

Loves,
Evelyn L.R.


Time & Love Together

I live with the anticipation
of having you
close to me,
of your spirit entwined
within my spirit.
To believe your love it’s true.
To have good times to remember.
I live with secrets
only you can know,
with fantasies only you
can make a reality.
I live with the power
of my love
that needs to be held
only by you.
My heart needs to be touched.
My mind needs to be filled,
with the love
you have for me.
I want to spend
the rest of my life with you.
I will wait for the time,
when we are finally together.
I will hold on to that minute,
and our love will last forever.


Like a Diamond

So sharp, so slick
So smooth, so clean,
So bright.
Just like a diamond,
You are.
My life goes on
because of you.
No more tears,
no more lies.
I’m glad to have you
again by my side,
and I ask you,
just like a diamond,
let me shine
through your eyes.


Silence

Silence in my room.
Silence in my soul;
Secrets of love!...
that reveal I won't.
Secrets that I've shared
only with the moon.

(Semi-finalist Poem on Poetry.com
Poetry contest)


All I’ll Ever Need

I've seen my reflection
within your eyes;
We are one and the same,
for the eyes
can not tell a lie.
Love seems endless
when I'm in your arms.
You make me happy.
With you I feel safe
from any harm.
You appeared to me
like an image straight
of my dreams.
We've met before,
in another life it seems.
I need you like the air I breathe.
You've become my world.
I've never felt before
a love so true,
and your love
it’s all that I’ll ever need.


Grieving

He left my soul filled with pain.
Oh Lord, he was so vain!
He killed the love I felt for him,
and broke my heart
again and again!
He ripped the last hope
From my now empty soul.
And here I am now,
standing under this rain
crying,
and praying,
again and again!
Crying over my disillusions.
And praying to this sky
full of stars,
to heal soon
my emotional scars.


Wretched Pain

This wretched pain lays very deep
within the labyrinths
of my heart.
So deep inside,
yet still visible through my darkened eyes.
Smiles fade fast.
And happiness
will never cast itself
upon my life again.
Truth, be it real or not real;
What more can this world offer?
Rainbow spectrums turned gray
in disbelief.
You’ve walked away!
Away from me!.
In your arms I made my home.
But now it seems
I'm left alone.
In my garden flowers
have withered away.
And I try so hard to forget,
but this wretched pain
won't let me yet.
Now I wait
for a new bright light
to shine my way
and bring me forth
a brighter day.


Unanswered

The plan? To be myself,
my own unique person.
In reality I emulate so many;
Confusion is not a stranger,
but more like a close friend.
Anger drops by
and never seems to end.
It hides instead in the shadows
of florescent lights,
and to the naked eye
it's never in sight.
In a theater, we live our daily life.
Award winning actors
in every shape & size
What is this I ask?
Everything seems so wrong!
Does anyone feel the same?
Yet, the question remains,
Why have we become
so rehearsed and fake?
The plan, you‘ve asked?
The question unanswered remains…


How Does It Feel?

How does it feel
To be loved and cared for,
When the next second you see
The person you truly love
Walking out the door?
You tell him not to dare,
Leaving you behind.
But all he does is
looking back at you,
With a cold quiet stare
in his angry eyes.
How does it feel
To be left all alone,
Afraid, and cold?
And after you realize
you made a mistake
And see
that everything was a fake,
You returns home,
to be loved and cared for,
but then…
How does it feel
seeing your love life
walking out the door,
As you did, before,
leaving you behind?


H-A-T-E

Hell hath no fury like a women scorned!
In more than one occasion
to you this I have sworn.
There is a thin line between love and hate.
I you knew your time would end,
and arrive would be the date
in which I would feel
this uncontrollable fury.
My mind races and I think,
“What's my hurry to leave?”
But all I can think is what this
awful hate
really means.
Horrific
Affliction
That taints
Everything.
Sometimes I wonder if all this
was just my fate,
or my a karma…
And no matter how hard I try
or how hard I fight,
I am always left with anger
and a very deep sadness.
My last words to you
as I finish writing
these lines are
that in my heart
or my mind
you will never, ever, find
anything less than hate for you;
For your love for me was always a lie,
and never, ever, true…


Simply Thoughts

I thought we were happy, my dear;
I thought what we had,
had been real!...
I dreamed on a world
full of love and peace;
Filled with us...
You & Me!
I thought for once,
that you truly loved me!
And I thought
that I loved you too!
But those were no more
than simply and happy thoughts…
I Thought I Had It All!
I once thought I’d reached the top,
that I finally was
who I’d always wanted to be.
Yes, I was over my head.
I thought I was better
even than myself.
And I thought I had it all!
Money, friends, wealth.
Family, love, and health.
All!
But now I can see
that what I called “all”
was only an empty hole.
The little I had was superfluous
and unreal.
Now everything it’s gone...
Friends?
Every one of them
disappeared somehow,
or are simply to far
to reach out.
Wealth?
It was only a dream
turned into despair.
Love?
Was it ever there?
Yes. But I couldn’t reach for it,
or forgot how...
Family?
What’s that word?
Oh, Yes. I now remember,
I had a family once.
One which as it seems
forgot I exist.
One I rarely took
good care of,
I admit.
Health?
I still have that, but who cares
when all you have left
It’s an empty soul.
And I thought
I had it all!.


Sailing trough the wind

I'd like to sail into the blue sea
in a ship with golden wings;
Sailing through the wind,
deep inside the ocean,
were the pain doesn’t exist.
Sailing far away
without turning back.
Sailing away
from my hurtful past.
Sailing through the storms
blowing inside me;
Sailing in a ship
with magic wings.
And sail away, far away,
away from you, away from myself...


Sad Winter

The Winter wind blows
Wiping and blowing its breath
over my naked face;
over my uncovered body.
My hands are now
frozen and pale,
And my mouth seems dry.
I feel I’m going to die…
Everything around me
has turned now pitch black;
For me there is no light;
There is no hope.
Not anymore!
There is no turning back.
I’ve lost my faith.
I have no luck.
I feel I’m dead.
This winter is sad…
I’m going mad.
I miss you so bad.
This sad winter it’s very sad!
And as I lay here over my bed,
made of dirt and soft grass,
I sadly stare at a shooting star,
wishing to see,
before I die,
the glittering stars
of loving eyes.


Rebel

We are anything are but mere
fragile mortals,
Who walked on a thin line
between life and death.
A game of our own,
a living Russian Roulette,
not always won...
My heart cries tears of blood
for you...
Some kind of rebel,
with a gun in your hand.
But you lost in the battle
of a war waged
between yourself.
The memory the life
this rebel lived,
seems somewhat
less than a hero,
but instead the picture
of a sacred soul.
A picture of a rebel
who hid his fears
behind a gun,
the very gun that took his own life.


Bitter and Cold

The frame sits empty
But your picture remains fresh
within my mind.
Sleep seems damned
With lucid dreams,
From your scent
that still lingers on my pillow.
The days ahead seem cold and bare;
Like the winter midnight sky
Whose stars have gone astray.
This unbearable pain
has nestled itself
deep into my heart.
I have lost myself in a dream
I yearned so much to come true.
I’ve cried countless tears;
And my mind swells
with endless memories of you.
But even in these
lonely passing days,
I can’t love you no less.
And even though
I’m still bitter and cold
you will remain
deeply in my heart, my mind,
and my soul.


Sweet & Unknown Fear

Why are his words
burning still inside my ears?
Why is it, that I need
to feel him near?
And why do his smile, or his voice
it is all I want to hear?
Why I do I crave for his lips?
Why they have to feel so near?
Why these words I can not say?
Why do I have to be so afraid,
folded in this sweet,
and unknown fear.
If cupid with his poisoned arrow,
had stabbed my heart
and my face,
my unlucky fate
had slapped…
Oh, why the simply touch
of his rugged hands
make me feel so strange inside?
And why is it that I
can’t stare back
into his deep as ocean eyes?
Why does he need to be so far,
and yet feel so near?
Why do I have to feel like this,
feeling this tempting sweet
and unknown fear?


I can’t live without you

I'm dying without you.
I can't live without you...
I'm dying for your love.
I'm dying,
but it's not your fault.
I ask the moon where are you,
and in return
she turns her face to me.
I tell her that without you
I can not live.
You are the only hope I have;
Tell me, Love,
What you've done to me?
Tell me, how can I live like this?
How can I take you out of my life,
If my heart for you,
it’s bleeding inside,
since our lives or our destiny
brought us apart.
Come, Life, to me,
before I die!


Only in my dreams

Only in my dreams
you could see
tears running down my face
like peaceful streams.

Tears of pain;
Tears I can't refrain.

Only in my dreams
I could tell you my whole story...
I could open my heart to you then,
and feel no worries.

Only in my dreams
I could go back
to our little old cottage.
Sit there, pray, dream, and cry
and return to my daily life
with renewed courage.

Only in my dreams
my life is real;
Our life together is real,
if only, in my dreams!


A Rose in Her Angelic Hands

An empty hole filled of yellow roses
became your feathered bed.
A picture I could not bear.
An angel in eternal rest!
Your pale hands
are holding with love,
a love I took for granted,
a single glowing rose.
Your now cold frozen hands
aren't as warm,
as when you had last
tucked me in bed.
My fairy
with a yellow wand;
My Mother,
an angel in eternal rest.

“In memory of my beloved mother,
Carmen Rodriguez.
May she rest in peace!.”
Evelyn


Green Belt View

Crash, Crash! There’s a noise over the grass.
The wind plays around, whistling in my ears.
Melodic and sweet voices
everywhere I hear…
Happiness and laughter
are coming to me,
while I stare startled
the loving picture I see...
My children!
Running, laughing, and playing!
The echo of their voices
sounding in my ears,
like tiny drops of rains,
bringing to my eyes
happiness tears.
This is how life should always be!
The sun is playing hide and seek
with the children, hiding his smiley face
behind the trees.
Seating here in this enchanted place,
and enjoying my children's joy
brings me the tranquility
we so much need.
It is here by this green belt,
this great line of trees,
where my children and I
can finally find.
A true realm of peace
I desperately seek!


Thank You!

Thank You, for showing me the way.
Thank You, for bringing light
to my darkest side.
Thank You, for all you've done
and haven't done for me.
Thank You, for just
letting me be.
Thank You, for all the love
you’ve given me…
Thank You,
for giving me my children,
so valuable gifts…
There's only one thing
I have left to say
even though
I do not know how to pray,
Thank You, my love,
for being with me
until our final days.


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