A Frog Inside My Throat Called Pain

A Frog Inside My Throat Called Pain

Pain, this hard pain inside my chest

is like a frog that one day

so unexpectedly jumped

out of the dirty waters of a slump,

and into my open mouth,

to get stock there

deep inside of my throat.

No. Heck no!

This verse is not an erotic pun,

nor some sort 

of sexual metaphor.

This frog inside my chest

and inside of my throat

that I've named Pain

is as real as you and I.

It's so real that now,

I can barely breathe....

And I can't get it out,

even if I scream,

out loud.

I've stopped breathing

because of this pain.

I've stopped living

because of you.

Meanwhile this frog crawls  

inside my throat

and at night it hides

inside of my brain.

It snores loud 

and its dark cry

tears up my insides, 

inside out

and it kills me softly 

with daggers

of gruesome pain 

that has no name

except that, Pain.

And it is a pain, Dr. Pain,

that I can't explain.

It goes up and down

from my feet to my head

making me leap at nights

out of my bed 

and onto the ground. 

And like a sick swan I drown

and like a frog I hop

around the lake behind my house

for long hours that never seem to end,

till I arrive over this endless "bridge"

Until I get hear your voice Dr. Pain.

And I keep thinking

as I'm walking on this bridge

What if?

What if I jump here,

by the green leaves

and into this pond?

Will you be there for me?

And my savior be?

Like some sort of magical illegal boat

Will you take me far away,

far, so  far, or will you let me drown somehow,

somewhere inside this river

gulping the tears of this frog inside my throat.

And as I turn back and cross the bridge

I dream, I ponder by the pond

"What if I jump?"

"I may grow wings,

and I may fly high, far away from here,

and far, so far away from you."

But I doubt my legs could jump that high.

I doubt I will grow wings and fly,

and I doubt that you will ever be there for me,

that you will ever try to come and rescue me.

Self doubt fills my brain.

The pain is still in my inner self;

The pain is in my throat

the frog named Pain it's in my chest.

My life is now my shining armor,

and my blanket of shadows.

But the frog in my throat

still screams "Pain",

"Hurt", "Fears".

The frog inside my chest

screams out loud in my head

screaming its name, "Pain! Pain! Pain!."

I climbed the bridge again, in my dreams,

and at the beat of those words

I would jump,

feeling NOTHING!

No fears, nor pain.

Down in the waters and slumps

my body rests in the lake.

The larger than life gators

busy polishing

their own leather skin

with clawed large paws give me strange stares.

And I fall, and fall down

but they all ignore my fall,

after all

to them I'm NOTHING,

just another swollen frog,

by the name of Pain....

(2015- (c)Evelyn Rodriguez-Lallave- Poet/Author)